Tuesday Tidbits (abbreviated) 8/29/06

I’m off to Houston for a conference so the Tuesday Tidbits will be in abbreviated form today. Maybe if I have a chance tonight at the hotel I will do a regular length one.

International News

Israel and the Middle East Nations Still Hate Each Others Guts!

Reports from Tel Aviv today showed that most Israelis and most Palestinians harbor hate for their neighbor. When asked if they would still fight when the peace process had been worked out, the most common answer was the sound of a slide being pulled back and a round being chambered. We took that to mean “yes.”

National News

Florida to get Hurricane Action

As Ernesto bears down on Florida, many Floridians are wondering what President Bush is going to do about it. “We hung our chads out for this man, the least he can do is stop sending hurricanes our way.”

State News

Texans Officially Declare TO a Bust

Dallas Cowboy fans everywhere are wondering how long it is going to take to nix the TO era. “Why that guy won’t practice, he won’t play, he won’t do nothing but gripe. I say we run that man out of town,” Coach Bill Parcells was overheard muttering. As for the staff of the Tidbits, we are still holding out for game 6 when we are pretty sure Drew Bledsoe will nail TO in the head with a pass causing all that hot air to escape and dwindling the receiver down to a 35 pound of mush.

Editorial

Sin Taxes to Increase

Well at least it is the first time politicians tax themselves…

Movie Review

I haven’t watched any new movies for awhile so no review. There are a few I want to see but just haven’t made it out to the theatre yet. Maybe by next week.

Yup, it was short and to the point. I’m off to finish packing and to head to Houston. I’ll end with an inspirational quote…

“Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman… especially if there is a diamond involved and he is honest about the cost of it.”

Emmys

Okay, I didn’t watch the Emmys but that is why you have Yahoo, right? You click on the results and see who won, read the quotes, find out reactions, and you can do it all in a matter of ten minutes. I don’t watch a lot of prime time TV, preferring the sports and history genres, but there are a few shows I do like such as Scrubs and my favorite, The Office. Hey, The Office won for best comedy series and I am thinking, “yeah, they finally got it right!” I understand this time they actually made the decision makers sit in a room and watch the shows that were up for an Emmy. Imagine that, having to actually see a show before voting. Sort of a novel idea, if you ask me.

I’m guessing I shouldn’t be holding my breath for shows such as Future Weapons, Air Superiority, or Sports Center to ever win an Emmy (I think the fact they are all on cable has a lot to do with it…ha!). Hmm, oh well, in the long run it doesn’t matter.

A Quenching Celebration

Finally the rain comes and soaks our brown earth, bringing a respite from the heat, the cooling winds of ozone enriched air to invigorate and wake a sleepy city from it’s heat induced stupor.

People are almost giddy at the grocery store, baggers carrying on cheerful conversation where once pitiful mutterings had held court. The young girl who is carrying out my groceries is chattering away about how funny it is that so many people come to shop when it is raining. She wonders out loud if it isn’t because they couldn’t be working outside and come to the store out of boredom.

“I think it is because they have no other place to celebrate, no dancing ground on which to let their euphoria be expressed so they come here to chat, to laugh, to feed off the giddiness of others. It is a communal expression of joy.” The young girl hands me my groceries and smiles her perky smile while shrugging to her, “Yeah, that too.” So much for philosophical ponderings during a rain storm.

As I open my car door I hear the singing of college students who are sitting underneath a covered outdoor patio; a young man plays a sloppy guitar while giggling female comrades sing along with a tune that is almost recognizable. I watch as one of the girls sticks her head out into the rain, laughing and shrieking at the cold drops that are soaking her head. With a whip of her head she showers her friends who protest under giggles and guffaws and then join her in the ritual of relishing refreshing rain.

Maybe it is boredom that brings the people out… but I still think it is a communal celebration of regeneration, as I pause to look up at falling raindrops, joyfully soaking them into my skin and my psyche.

The reason I walk around in graveyards

You gotta watch those angles, folks, they will get you every time.

New London Pics

I took a road trip this summer to work on Slvr’s car and to drop by New London to investigate the nation’s worst school disaster. What a neat place to visit. I have posted some pics of the graves and the monument for the 303 people who died in the natural gas explosion, ignited from the basement of the newly erected school. Oh, there is a pic of my companion for the day, a nice dog who seemed content to wander around the cemetery and observe the graves with me. Enjoy.

A few random pics from Arizona

Now that I finally have blogger allowing me to load pictures, I thought I would post a few…

The pictures are of my family’s time in Greer, Arizona this summer to celebrate my parental units 50th anniversary. The middle pic is mom and dad with their surviving sons, the bottom pic is of a stream we were fishing and catching nice trout out of, and the top pic is of marker we put on my great, great aunt Clara Coleman’s grave who was murdered by her Arizona/New Mexico husband (cattle theif, horse theif, and murderer) Henry Coleman, a.k.a. Henry Hudspeth. He came from a prominent Texas family (there is a county named after them) and his brother was a big man around Austin as far as state politics go. He murdered Clara for her ranch and was gunned down later when he returned to gather his “other wife” and baby. He was known to be fast with a gun and the posse wasn’t going to let him have a chance to prove it. He is also buried in an unmarked grave without any references remaining to where that grave might be. Clara’s grave was easy to find as the Catholic church kept records and buried folks chronologically so you just had to find the tombstones with dates on either side of her death. Pictures were also used to line up the approximate position so it was easy to determine location.

Enough of the history lesson…

Friday fritterings…

If Karr is so sure he is guilty then why does his ex-wife, brother, father, and everyone who seemed to be close to him during that time emphatically deny any possibility of his participation?

I have theories…

1. Karr is obsessed with the killing and has transferred himself into the role of the murderer (but there is the problem of his knowing certain details that no one has been privy to…)

2. His ex-wife doesn’t want him to have his 15 minutes of fame (granted, a perverse and disturbed 15 minutes, but 15 minutes nonetheless)

3. He still owes his brother $100 and the brother knows he will never collect it if Karr is in jail or executed.

4. His father has been enjoys being away from the nursing home and knows if he continues to hang with the brother and his diatribes, he gets to stay out even more.

5. It is a vast government conspiracy to take the minds of the American people off the Middle East.

6. Jesse Jackson is hoping to be asked to step in as a peacekeeper to negotiate a settlement between Karr, his attourneys, and the media.

7. It is a marketing ploy by the Colorado Tourism Board to get more people to come to Colorado during the down time between summer vacations and skiing.

8. Karr has heard all the really hot women write letters to prisoners and the really solid relationships are from long time prison writing pen pals.

9. Karr wants to be on the cover of all the major magazines.

10. Or it could be Karr is guilty. He certainly has the history and profile for it but I am not a law enforcement professional so my opinion really doesn’t matter. Either way, I believe they have gotten a predator off the street regardless of his role in the death of the girl. Sometimes we should count our blessings for the obvious.

Picture test

Another Thursday Thirteen

Okay, I’m a little stressed and since writing is my stress reliever, I am posting another Thursday Thirteen because the thought of #4 in my previous Thursday Thirteen has spurred me into a silly mood.

Thirteen Things to Say If You Have a Coffin in the Guest Room

1. “Hey, you may need to take the Febreeze in there with you as we haven’t quite got the smell of Uncle Joe out of the fabric.”
2. “What hammer and nails? Oh, those hammer and nails. Uh, I forgot to put them in the tool shed? Really, I wouldn’t dream of nailing you inside the coffin…really.”
3. “You know I hope when my history is written folks will appreciate that I buried all of my victims in a nice coffin and that I wasn’t your run of the mill let’s barely cover them up in a shallow grave serial killer.”
4. “Hope you don’t mind sleeping on top of the coffin. I haven’t had a chance to empty it yet.”
5. “Yeah that’s my coffin alright. Have to have something to keep the sunlight off of me because sunlight really sucks.”
6. “I got a really good deal on this coffin. It was used just once and even then it was owned by a little old lady who was buried in it only on Sundays.”
7. “Yup, I am going to pimp this baby out. Thinking about chopping the top down, putting a stereo system in it so I can listen to Grateful Dead tunes for eternity.”
8. “Don’t let the coffin freak you out, it is just a conversation piece… and I wouldn’t worry about the butcher knife next to the shower either…”
9. “Well a linen closet was going to cost me $2500 and they had these babies down at the coffin factory for $1,250 so I thought, ‘Yeah, this would make a fine linen cabinet.’ Cool huh?”
10. “Well the will said I got nothing from the ol’ man and I thought to myself, ‘Hey, I’m not leaving this cemetery without something so I took the old man’s casket. Ready for supper?”
11. “I doing some research on sensory deprevation. I have a nice little sensory deprevation chamber dug in the backyard and thought you might to help me out on the research…”
12. “Well she said she wanted a fine piece of furniture to put in the bedroom to give the room a certain ambiance that would set it off from the rest of the house and I thought, ‘Yuppers, this definitely makes a statement.’ Haven’t seen hide nor hair of her since. Hmm…”
13. “So, how do you feel about necrophylia?”

Oh, I feel disclaimer time coming on…

NO, I am not into necrophylia… and no, I do not have a coffin in my guest room, and NO, I am not a deranged serial killer… But YES, I wouldn’t mind having a coffin so I could test drive it before the big trip…

Thursday Thirteen 8/24/06

Thirteen Goals I Probably Won’t Acheive in Life…

1. Having a dream date with Jamie Lee Curtis
2. Discussing poor plot lines with Samon Rushdie
3. Singing on stage with the Eagles during their Hell Freezes Over Tour #3
4. Having a coffin in the guest bedroom so I can tell guests “Go on in and make yourself comfortable. Feel free to pull the lid down if you need a little privacy” just so I can watch their facial expressions. (okay, this really isn’t a goal of mine, just wanted to make sure you were paying attention)
5. Being a well known published author. Doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying…
6. Getting a doctorate in History. Now that I think about it… a Masters in History probably isn’t happening either since my BA wasn’t in history.
7. My life long ambition of teaching a high school history class. I have always wanted to give the kids a teacher who actually loves history and is not there because he/she has to do something else besides coaching.
8. Run naked through Central Park. (yeah, another test to see if you are reading closely)
9. Go Cape Buffalo hunting. The older I get the less interested I am in hunting exotic animals and find I enjoy watching them more. White tails and muleys are still fair game though…
10. Go on a dream date with Jamie Lee Curtis (oh, did I already mention this one… hmm, uh…rats.) Make that “star in a major motion picture with Jamie Lee Curtis.”
11. Write the definitive southern humor novel. I want to be the Harper Lee of southern small town humor.
12. Sit and chat with a U.S. President about foreign policy, urban poverty, and why the University of Texas football team should be the National Football Team for the U.S.
13. Own every type of magnum revolver made. This won’t happen because they bring out a new caliber every month and who can afford to keep up? Besides, I think I will be happy with getting the last of the standards (a .41 magnum) and calling it good.