Forest Lawn

One of my favorite places I visited when I was in Buffalo this summer was the Forest Lawn cemetery.  The history and architecture there is phenomenal and the amount of cash people spend to “honor the dead” (okay, many times the person they were honoring was themselves) was outlandish.  My daughter Cryss and I had a great time walking all over the 269 acre cemetery and I kept telling her about an old John Denver song called “Forest Lawn.”  I couldn’t remember the lyrics but I told her I would find them and finally I did.

So for Cryss and everyone else who has been deprived of this fun little ditty, here they are… the lyrics to:

Forest Lawn
Artist(Band):John Denver

Oh lay me down in Forest Lawn in a silver casket,
Put golden flowers over my head in a silver basket.
Let the drum and bugle corps play taps while cannons roar
And sixteen liveried employees sell souvenirs from the funeral store.

I want to go simply when I go,
They’ll give me a simple funeral there I know,
With a casket lined in fleece
And fireworks spelling out “Rest in Peace.”
Oh take me when I’m gone to Forest Lawn.

Oh lay me down in Forest Lawn, they understand there.
They have a heavenly choir and a military band there.
Just put me in their care, I’ll find my comfort there
With sixteen planes in a last salute they’ll drop a cross in a parachute.

I want to go simply when I go,
They’ll give me a simple funeral there I know:
With a hundred strolling strings
And topless dancers with golden wings!
Oh take me when I’m gone to Forest Lawn.

Oh, come, come, come, come,
Come to the church in the wildwood,
Kindly leave a contribution in the pail.
Be as simple and as trusting as a child would
And we’ll sell you the church in the dale.

To find a simple resting place is my desire;
To lay me down with a smiling face comes a little bit higher.
My likeness cast in brass will stand in plastic grass
While hidden weights and springs tip its hat to the mourners filing past!

I want to go simply when I go.
They’ll give me a simple funeral there I know.
I’ll lie beneath the sand
With piped in tapes of Billy Graham.
Oh take me when I’m gone to Forest Lawn.

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
For a slightly higher fee!

Oh take me when I’m gone to Forest Lawn!

Let Sleeping Elephants Beware

 Today is the celebration of the birth of Ganesh, the elephant headed god of Hinduism.  How he got his head is generally believed to have happened according to the following story (courtesy of About.com)

The story of the birth of this zoomorphic deity, as depicted in the Shiva Purana, goes like this: Once goddess Parvati, while bathing, created a boy out of the dirt of her body and assigned him the task of guarding the entrance to her bathroom. When Shiva, her husband returned, he was surprised to find a stranger denying him access, and struck off the boy’s head in rage. Parvati broke down in utter grief and to soothe her, Shiva sent out his squad (gana) to fetch the head of any sleeping being who was facing the north. The company found a sleeping elephant and brought back its severed head, which was then attached to the body of the boy. Shiva restored its life and made him the leader (pati) of his troops. Hence his name ‘Ganapati’. Shiva also bestowed a boon that people would worship him and invoke his name before undertaking any venture.

I think there are some questions we need to be asking here:

1. Did PETA know about this?
2. Is it really elephant poaching if they take the whole head instead of just the tusks?
3. Tradition also has it that Ganesh will break a tusk off from time to time to write with it.  So how does he replace the broken tusk?  Duct tape?  Super glue?  Baling wire?  I think this answer is needed for the deep theological implications that it brings to the story.
4. Since elephants are herbivores with the eyes on the side of their heads and no canine teeth and humans are carnivores, with the eyes on the front of the head with a complete set of canine teeth, does this mean Ganesh was a vegetarian?   How good was his hand and eye coordination?  I’m thinking it must’ve been terrible.  Does that mean he was horrible at soccer?
5. So how does an elephant headed god speak? By trumpeting?
6. I wonder what Ganesh thought when he walked by all the other  normal elephants that were working in the forest.  Did he taunt them with “hey guys, look at me, I’m walking upright!” or was he sad because his mother wouldn’t let him go outside and play with the other elephants?
7. How difficult were the dating years for Ganesh?  I’m thinking just kissing the girls would’ve proved messy if not impossible.

An intriguing story for sure and one with a lot of questions attached to from this western mind of mine.  I guess in the counting of your blessings category, Ganesh should’ve been glad the first animal they found sleeping that was facing north wasn’t a snake.  That would’ve been really weird.