Conversations From the Parade of Lights

One of the annual activities our kids love is the Parade of Lights that is sponsored by a local television station. This year there were around 110 entries and we were #20. I love this parade because the kids get such a kick out of it. The parade route is not long (I’m thinking 16 blocks) but by the time you have run forward and backwards for sixteen blocks to keep kids in the group, away from the side of the trailer, or from throwing things into the crowd, I figure I probably did about 50 blocks (oh, alright, maybe 32). We had glow sticks donated by the police association so the kids had glowing bracelets on each hand and a necklace around their necks. The trailer was decorated with blue icicle lights with a white light tree at the front. Even the van pulling the trailer was decorated in blue icicle lights. Below are some of the conversations you find yourself having during a parade…

(With a child) What time are we starting? We are starting at 6:30. We had to be in line at 5:30, but we will start at 6:30. So how long is that? Ten minutes? Well, how many minutes are in an hour? Ten? No, sixty minutes. If there are sixty minutes in an hour and we have to wait from 5:30 until 6:30 to start the parade, then we will be waiting how many minutes? Ten? Yes, ten. (I know, I am so going to hell.)

(With an adult) Excuse me, can you stop the band from playing for thirty seconds so I can give some quick instructions to our kids? We’re warming up. I understand but if they will pause between songs for just thirty seconds then I can give my kids some quick instructions for their safety. You want us to stop playing? Well, yes, I want you to shut up long enough for me to give instructions to my kids. Quit playing? Yes, horns down, no air blowing through them, and the drummers keep their hands still… you know, thirty seconds of quiet so I can be heard. Thirty seconds? Sheesh, where did you graduate from? Texas A&M?

(With a child) Has it been ten minutes yet? I don’t think they’ve started counting down the ten minutes yet. Let me go check. I won’t be longer than thirty minutes. (Hey, you can only send me to hell once…)

(With an adult) So what are you using to power your lights? A transformer I bought from Wal-Mart. Sounds good. My brother-in-law fixed up a device that you attach to the battery of the truck, run the lines underneath to the trailer where you can plug the lights in. It is easy to run, open the hood, attach the device, shut the hood and your lights work! Hmm, wish I had thought of that. My transformer plugs into the cigarette lighter and we run an extension cord out the back window.

(With a child) What are those? Horse apples. Horse apples? Apples grow on horses? Uh no, those apples come from inside the horse. Inside the horse? How do they get on the outside of the horse? Oh…ewwwww. (You have to love it when education hits home…)

It was a great night but by the time the parade was over I had no voice, my feet were starting to ache, and I couldn’t wait to get home and in bed. I think I’m getting old.

Thursday 13 for November 29th

13 Reasons I Love Christmas

1. I love Christmas music.  Especially the lesser known tunes.
2. Chip Davis (no, he isn’t the guy with the Chipmunks…sigh)
3. Trans Siberian Orchestra
4. Smiling kids with eyes filled with awe (and no, that isn’t painful).
5. Lights and decorations!
6. Snowmen!
7. Everyone seems to have their spirits elevated unless they work in a store or have major deadlines due in December.
8. Christmas cards!
9. Playing Santa.
10. Talking to kids on the Santa Hotline.
11. Parties!
12. It is the only time of year you get to pick on fruitcake!
13. Friends and family.

On a brighter note…

It is time for the ol’ Christmas Story Card list to be generated.  For any new readers, I always send out a Christmas story instead of a Christmas card.  If you want one then send me your mailing address via email.  You can send it to:

derrickhallwithcowsandmolly@yahoo.com

I will be mailing them off around the 20th.

Happy Holidays!

Post Thanksgiving Blues

I didn’t get off a Thursday 13 last week but I did think about it on the way down to my Grandmom’s for the traditional turkey day activities. It is always great to be around family and even more it was good to have some time off to spend some time with them. The snow was a pleasant addition and brought a festive mood to the day, followed by an encore on Sunday. I love the cold weather and the beautiful flakes we saw yesterday afternoon were like nature’s own gift of decoration!

With all that said, I must admit I was feeling a little depressed this morning and I think I have been officially diagnosed with the Post Thanksgiving Blues and here are some of the reasons for them…

• UT lost on the day after… sniff.
• ACU lost in triple overtime and are officially out of the playoffs.  Double sniff.
• The turkey is all gone and so are the great sandwiches.
• My opportunities to play 42 are pretty much nil until Christmas…sigh.
• Time is quickly becoming a rarity with all of the events I have volunteered for or have been invited to. I know I will enjoy the holiday season but still I know it will pass by so fast.
• I didn’t get to spend much time with my parents. With so many family members around, it seems next to impossible to spend time with them talking like you want to but I did get to spend some time with other family members I haven’t seen in quite awhile.
• The frailty of my great aunt Mary and my Grandmom was obvious this year and the thought of a day coming when they won’t be with us is a bit depressing. Makes the present time spent with them all the more precious.
• Twyla didn’t stand up on stage and sing for us… okay, I was just checking to see if she was paying attention.
• The weather was bad enough to discourage any hunting.  Those lucky deer…

I know that isn’t much reason to be a little depressed but I still feel a little down after having such a great weekend. Sigh…

Thanksgiving Diva

My grandmom will be in her element come tomorrow.  She is the ultimate Thanksgiving diva, orchestrating the family gathering with a precision that would make a Broadway show choreographer green with envy.

It starts with breakfast where eggs, gravy, bacon, and biscuits begin the day long festivities.  So many of the great grandchildren will tell you that breakfast is the best meal of the day and perhaps they are right since it takes us back to a time when life was much more simpler even though the work for the day was much more strenuous.  The banter of family catching up with each other as plates of cardiac stopping fare is passed around the table is conversation that has its own form of succulence to be savored by family members who relish these moments of open love for each other.

After breakfast the Thanksgiving diva begins to give each member their role for the meal.  Someone will be chopping, another baking, another carrying paper goods to the tabernacle while others will be setting up tables.  The task of  preparing the serving of the food is generally given to one of the up and coming matriarchs who has the mandate to keep the food in its natural order.  Veggies will be veggies, salads with salads, a separate table for the desserts, and the turkey, oh the turkey, will be carefully carved and presented along side her famous dressing that is tastefully complimented by a bowl of giblet gravy.  It is understood that when the food isn’t in its natural order, universal chaos must be around the corner.

At the proper time Grandmom will arrive and designate someone to give thanks and then with grace of any matriarch, she will quietly set the order for the serving.  It is her grandest moment of the year and the family who has gathered around her absolutely adore her and appreciate the event that she has made her own.  The room of family members will transform into a hive of buzzing members, happily eating, chatting, and laughing.  The feast will include much more than tasty treats, it will be a feast of family that will keep the heart warm long after the food has been digested.

Thanksgiving with Grandmom is an annual treat that the majority of her grandchildren dutifully attend; not because we feel like we have to, but because we know the number of celebrations with her are limited and to take advantage of every opportunity allows us to etch another warm memory of her in our mind.  We are honored to be in the presence of our Thanksgiving diva.

Football Update

I went to watch my alma mater, ACU, play on Saturday and they quite easily whipped Mesa State. The two teams were obviously not in the same league and you begin to feel sorry for the opponent when you are up 42-6 at half time and the one touchdown they did make was on an interception return. This week ACU is off to play Chaldron State in Nebraska. I hope They are as successful on the field there as they were here.

Was able to watch the final quarter of Texas Tech and Oklahoma. Go Tech! Wow! Who knew? Maybe we can get Texas into the top five after all.

The final game I watched was Dallas vs. Washington. Crazy game but the ‘Boys prevailed nonetheless. This is the first year in a long time that I have actually watched professional games. I like the craziness of them and I love having the ‘Boys at 10-1. Thanksgiving weekend looks to be a great weekend for football!

American Gangster

Went with the kids and Twyla to see this movie last night and I think we thought it was a good movie. The characters were developed well and the story line kept you guessing until the end. Perhaps the most disturbing part of the film was the realization how corrupt the New York Police Department was and processing the fact that over 2/3 of them were convicted of conspiracy, drug trafficking, and accepting bribes. The fact Denzel Washington’s character had made $250,000,000 selling heroin that he imported on US military transport planes was bad enough, but knowing his competition for business in New York was the cops made it sickening.

The movie is violent and there are a couple of scenes with heroin cutters working in the nude “so they won’t steal anything” that would make this movie inappropriate for children. I’m not sure the subject matter doesn’t make this movie inappropriate for adults as their senses of propriety will be insulted by the reality the “good guys” were quite happy to keep the drug trade alive and well.

On a scale of 0-5, I would give this movie a 4.5. Not quite a home run but definitely a great flick.

Thursday 13 for 11/15/07

It doesn’t look like there will be a Wheezer/Geezer football game this year as too many of the players won’t be coming to my Grandmom’s house for Thanksgiving.  It is the way of life; kids grow up, older folks get scared of such things as broken bones or heart attacks.  Whatever the reason, this grand family tradition has probably run its course.  I think for my brothers and me, it will be an end of an era that has lasted most of our lives.  We loved to play football and in the little community where we lived, many times those games were played two on two, or three on three.  We even had a one on one game we played on our knees inside the house when Mom wasn’t home.

So in honor of the passing of a grand tradition, here are 13 quotes from previous games.

1. Come on man, you’re 6′ 1″ and 230 pounds and she is 5′4″, lucky to be 100 pounds soaking wet.  It’s pure physics, just fall on her… she won’t get open again.
2.  I don’t see any bone showing.  I think you can still play.
3. Okay, Birdpup, you run down 15 yards and fake a heart attack and Laurent, I’ll hit you on a post when they all huddle around the Birdpup.
4. Did this field get longer since last year?
5. I haven’t seen moves like that since you step on that rattlesnake last year.
6. I think the holes in the ozone layer have affected the oxygen levels here.
7. I think the only way we are going to slow Scott down is to break a leg.  Do you think Mom and Dad will be upset if we did that?
8. I like how we run all our plays in slow motion.  I know it isn’t intentional but let’s go with the moment, okay?
9. Nice catch!  The ball only bounced twice this time before you caught it.
10. Man, I don’t want to say your kids are mean but I think the little one just tried to throw a crackback block on me.  (Yeah, they get it from their mother.)
11. What?  You can’t pick up your defender and run them down the field?  Are you sure there’s a rule prohibiting that?
12. I (pant, pant) think (pant, pant) that (wheeze, wheeze) I (pant, pant) should (cough, cough) quarter (pant, pant) back (snort) this (gasp, gasp) time.  You guys go long… really long… I need the rest.
13. We are going to have to start running like we just heard the snap of a proctologist’s  glove if we want to win.

There ya go.  Now that I have finished my list I think maybe the real reason so many of the Wheezers aren’t coming this year is that after seven years of losing, they finally won last year and they want to go out on top.  Wish I had thought of that.  Sigh.

Mr. Frustrated, You Kept Your Promise

Saturday morning was a Veteran’s Day Parade with about 40 kids from the clubs marching with flags down the streets of our town.  The parade covers about 2 miles, start to finish, and when we set our flags onto the rods that formed a flag field, we made our way back to the van and as we were loading, I heard one of the kids ask,

“Can we go get a free cookie over there?”  I asked where “over there” was and they pointed to a sign on the door of a downtown church advertising free cookies to anyone marching in the parade.  I explained to them that the cookies were gone since the parade had already finished but they were sure that if we went inside we would find a room full of soft warm cookies waiting for us next to tall glasses of cold milk.  Realizing I wasn’t going to dissuade them, I made one of those executive decisions; “I promised  your parents I would have you back by 12:30 and we are going to be pushing it to get there by then.  I’ll bring you cookies on Monday.”

Monday comes and I am getting ready to make my rounds when my SP director called to ask if I was going to be bringing the cookies by anytime soon before the first of the kids had to go home.  Oh my, I had let that slip but I reassured him I would be there in 15 minutes, cookies in hand.  I think it was 17 minutes before I walked into the club but the kids were excited to see the cookies were there and soon there were happy munching faces everywhere.  The most outspoken of the group walked up to me with a snicker-doodle in one hand and a half eaten thumb print cookie in the other and said, “Mr. Frustrated, you kept your promise.”

“Yes I did but keeping promises is what we all should try to do, right?  I bet most of the folks here try to keep their promises.”

“Yeah, well most grown ups don’t, that is why I said ‘You kept your promise.’”  Having been guilty of breaking a few promises myself during my lifetime I was particularly touched by his statement.    I have obtained my level of cynicism over a lifetime but yet here in this young man of 13, I sensed a cynicism that was well matured beyond his years.  It brought to mind that in his world most adults don’t keep their promises and I can say that my own children from time to time may have felt that about me.  Those times I had to cancel a planned activity because of pressing obligations or just in some of life’s decisions when promises broken brought disappointment had more of an effect than I think I had ever realized; it allowed cynicism an opportunity to grow.

I wouldn’t wish my cynicism on anyone yet I may have unwittingly done exactly that.

I may have kept this particular promise but I have failed at others.  My resolve to not disappoint children has been taken up another notch due to this new awareness and I have a cookie happy teen to thank for such enlightenment.

Judging Speech Contests

Sitting in a room full of prospective judges for a local speech contest I couldn’t help but notice the wide array of judges.  There were past speech geekers (I am one of those), locals who have never judged a speech, and even two “professional judges” from the metroplex who were there to get more points towards certification.

I was fortunate to judge a wide array of contests.  My first one was Prose, where the contestants read a selection and through voice inflection, pacing, and stance, bring the piece to life.  For the most part they were all pretty good but you could tell this was the first contest of the season as they all did great for the first three minutes and then were glued to their books for the last four minutes.  The worst was the one kid who apologized to me four times for messing up.  Don’t apologize, just move forward!

My next round was Lincoln Douglas debate.  The topic: is plea bargaining unjust.  This was fun because it is really an argument between two people.  Both did well but man, do they speak fast!

My last round of the night was a cross X debate which is now four people arguing over should the US subsidize the World Food Program.  I was impressed that one team was prepared and the other team looked surprised the whole time.  Nothing like having kids bringing a knife to a gun fight.

The next day I finally got to judge my forte, extemporaneous speaking and some things never change; what do you do with your hands (I’m thinking holding them out in front of you and shaking them at the judge isn’t good), trying to bs your way through a topic you haven’t prepared for (oh, you might want to get a dictionary and look up the word “infrastructure” before giving us a speech on health care), and trying to speak in a relaxed conversational tone (rapid repetition of a memorized speech with no voice inflection does not a happy judge make).

The next to the last round was another Lincoln Douglas debate followed by judging the finals for Humorous Interpretation.  Now talk about a fun round to judge as kids do 10 minutes from funny shows, plays, or movies.  It was the most entertaining part of the day and an event that wasn’t in existence 30 years ago when I competed.

I enjoyed the experience.  It brought back a lot of great memories and it assured me that some things never change; the fear in the eyes of the competitors,  the anxious pacing of speech coaches, and the awesome power of being the judge. He he he he he….