Thirteen Famous People I Would Like to Taser
- Madonna – she just annoys me.
- Prince – I think his lips might actually get bigger when all those volts shoot through his body.
- O.J. Simpson – he ought to get something for all the crimes he has committed.
- O.J. Simpson – another jolt wouldn’t hurt him, would it?
- Dan Rather – I just want to know if his hair would stay in place.
- Anna Nicole Smith -What? She’s dead?!?!?! Okay, never mind.
- Paris Hilton – like she would notice.
- Pamela Anderson – after all, she likes pain, remember?
- Okay, I want to Taser O.J. just one more time…
- George Steinbrenner (sic) – I would even let Joe Torre pull the trigger.
- Steven Wright – I just want to know if his deadpan face is capable of any emotion at all.
- Barbara Streisand – I think her eyes would do some really funky things.
- Dr. Phil – Dance, mad man, dance.
Oh, if there were any rounds left, I would Taser O.J. a fourth time.
