Thursday 13 for 1/31/08

Doing TV and radio interviews are just part of the job but I like to think from time to time about the people I would like to interview if I was in control of the studio.

Thirteen People I Would Like to Interview and At Least 1 Question I Would Ask Them.

  1. Tony Romo – How does it feel to lose in the first round two years in a row?  Was Jessica worth it?
  2. Obama – Do you think you could take Hillary in a street fight?
  3. Hillary – Does Bill ever take you clubbing with him?
  4. McCain – Do you ever get out in the sun or are you after the pasty look?
  5. Romney – How many wives are you not telling us about?
  6. George  W. -  Come on, admit it.  You wanted to moon Congress during your last State of the Union Address, didn’t you?
  7. Cheney – Have you figured out the differences between a quail and a lawyer yet?
  8. Brittney Spears – Will it help if I speak really slow so you can follow the conversation?
  9. Paris Hilton – How many STD’s have they named after you now?
  10. The Head of China’s Quality Assurance Department – So how much toxic material has to be in a dumpling or toy before you deem it unsafe for Chinese people?
  11. Bill Gates – So do you ever look out your dining room window and wonder how you can exploit the masses?  Oh wait…
  12. Stephen Jobs – Do you ever miss the “let’s brainstorm during a drug induced brainstorm” days?
  13. Laura Bush – If your ala mater doesn’t take the presidential library, would you consider asking George to move it to next to LBJ’s library in Austin?  Somehow I would find that ironic.

How Good Are You at Folding Laundry?

I was in the middle of my weekly visit to the laundry-mat.  Saturday mornings are generally filled with workers from the oilfields or road crews doing their laundry so the room is filled with a display of multi-cultural customers who speak multiple languages.  It is an interesting time to sit and observe people!

So I am moving my clothes to the dryers when a young girl (she didn’t look to be 16) walks in and begins to ask the workers if they see anything they like.  I can’t tell you what all of their responses were but I am pretty sure they weren’t the right responses judging by the leering and catcalls.  I know ages can be deceiving but no matter how old she was it is sad to see her life has already taken this turn.

A Conflict Between Cultures

Living in a town that was split by the railroad from the beginning to establish “right and wrong” sides of tracks to live on, I am constantly amazed at the diversity of cultures displayed.  The “north side” was the original town where you know find the downtown businesses and post office while the “south side” was farm land with a section set aside for minorities.  Time has switched the sides of the tracks and now you find most of the affluence residing on the south side and the bulk of the underprivileged live on the north side with the exception of “The Hill” where another surge of affluence has began to build to the northeast.

I live on the north side.  If you cross the street to the south you will enter the historical district, complete with grand old homes from the past that are beautiful in architecture and graceful lines, replete with wrap around porches.  If you walk down my street to the north you will be entering neighborhoods where bullets tend to enter into domiciles uninvited on a semi-regular basis (Yes I know there is probably never a bullet that enters a house from the street that was actually invited…).  These are the neighborhoods where you are forced to creep through throngs of wannabe gangbangers who are obviously paying homage to the god of bling-bling and haven’t learned which way the bill of a cap is supposed to point.  You will also find hoards of young Latino males congregating in the middle of the street to demonstrate their abilities at hand flopping, sagging, and strutting.

Yesterday, an unusually warm day, the neighborhood moved from inside the house to the driveway where friends gathered around 30 packs set on the back of pickup truck tailgates to watch someone else wash their truck.  Who knew washing vehicles was such a spectator sport?  Hmm, maybe with the sun and the suds anything is worth watching.

Driving over to the south side I found people cleaning yards, working on houses, or washing their cars without the benefit of an audience and utilizing only one can of brew.  The stark contrast between the two cultures is easily seen and I have to wonder why?

Is it the power of the mythological line that separates the town?  Or is it because there is a line that isn’t geographical, but social in its construction?  I think most of us would guess the line is social, based on either ethnicity or economics.  Having watch more than my share of children of all ages and all races emulate gang talk, gang signs, and gang bravado, I would go with the line being a social economic one.

The middle class child is raised with the belief of education being available and expected.  For them opportunity is a long ranged forecast complete with support from family generally in the form of financial.  They don’t think of just high school diplomas and a bachelors, they think Masters and Doctorates.  The poverty infused child sees education as only an option for the rich or the athlete.  Opportunity is a short ranged forecast that is primarily spontaneous and serendipitous.  For them family support is found in an uncle or aunt finding them a spot at their place of work and a high school education is good enough for everyone.

I would love to ease my social conscience by taking the big eraser of justice and rubbing out that social economic line but the longer you live walking in the conflict of these two cultures the  more you realize an eraser is probably not going to get the job done.  No, I fear we need to replace the whole piece of parchment that has been stained with the historical ink of culture and prejudice from previous generations.  That my friend takes courage, vision, and faith… which appears to be in short supply.

Thursday 13 for 1/24/08

Thirteen Random “Bucket List” Items for the Ol’ Frustrated Writer

  1. Go snow skiing.
  2. Hunt an elk.
  3. See the Smithsonian.
  4. Travel to Europe.
  5. Fish for tuna in the Pacific.
  6. Publish a New York Times Best Seller
  7. Have an audience with the President.
  8. Watch the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band in concert.
  9. See the redwood forest.
  10. Drive up HWY 1 (or is that 101) from San Francisco to Seattle in a convertible.
  11. Attend the Final Four championship games.
  12. Rock a grandchild to sleep.
  13. Sky dive.

Not a real impressive list but I do know that #9 and #10 are getting scratched off in May!

Feeling Puny

Woke up to the urge to make the mad dash.  Nothing like getting a 24 hour virus.  Sigh.  Nothing to report but that the Sprite is good.

Posted in Life. 1 Comment »

I’m Feeling a Norah Jones Mood Comin’ On

Until The End Lyrics
Artist(Band):Norah Jones

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Until The End

You’ve got a famous last name
But you’re not to blame
Baby I see you for who you are

A one time apple queen,
And a one time tramp,
And an old time movie star.

You’re a shell picker,
Of the pickiest kind,
But you always find the ones to keep.

And in or out of bed,
You keep you’re head wide open,
’cause ya don’t only dream when you’re asleep.

Like a child … you remember,
But I forget … all my dreams.

I used to think,
That someday I’d relax a little,
And be more like you.

Then I realized,
How silly that thought was,
Needed to stand in my own shoes.

And from over here,
I can see you cry,
Don’t even try … to pretend.

’cause he’s hurt you,
So many times,
Baby don’t go back again.

Like a child, you forget,
But I remember everything..and every sting.

And through all the games,
We’ll both stay the same,
As we’ve always been,
Through the fat and thin,
Until the end,
Until the end.

Breaking the hearts of kids

I am going to have to tell a young lady tomorrow that she has been disqualified for not meeting a longevity requirement.  Somehow we missed this requirement and even though she has poured heart and soul into the contest, she will be barred from winning.  She will get to compete, but won’t be able to win.

There aren’t many aspects about this job that I dislike but delivering news that will break a kid’s heart is one of them.  No sleep tonight.

Heath Ledger Dead

What a shock!  He is one of the few young actors I thought had longevity to him and now it seems he has Belushied  right out of the picture.  What a shame.  I think tonight I’ll watch A Knight’s Tale while raising a glass of milk to his memory.

Holy Smokes!

I met a gentleman at the Shoot Out! last night who happened to grow up on the land across from the property my grandparents leased when I was just a kid.  We started to compare notes of who we knew and catching up on this family and that when the subject of which church we had attended as kids.

Amazingly we attended different congregations during that time but were familiar with the other churches mentioned when we came up on the subject of the smoke break between Sunday School and the worship services.  Without fail the men of the congregation would rush out to the churchyard to roll a smoke or if they were into the high class tobacco, shake one from a soft pack.  Discussions about the weather, cattle prices, crops, or the latest in farming technology (something none of them could afford but they loved to talk about) would arise and the men could fit in at least two cigarettes between class and worship.

As kids we saw this as a normal and natural activity and welcomed the time to hunt horny toads, racers (a striped lizard that is extremely fast), tarantulas, or doodle bugs (ant lions).  If we were lucky enough to corral one of the critters they would be dropped into a shirt pocket if they were a lizard or placed in the outdoor bathroom if they were an arachnid or snake.  Doodle bugs were safe because we only wanted to feed them ants so you let them be.  Anyway, the call to worship would bring in nicotine ladened men and happy critter enhanced youngsters who could now face the drone of a monotone sermon with daydreams built on the previous smoke break.

I miss those holy smokes.  I miss the old men circled up and talking about life as they knew it and understood it.  I miss watching kids chase down critters and the thrill seen in their eyes when they actually nabbed something.  I miss seeing mothers gape at a horny toad making its way down the aisle and then see them blush when they realized it was their child that was sneaking down the aisle after it.  I miss the daydreams spawned by boring sermons when a young boy could drift off into his imagination and visualize swimming in the baptism pool with Jenna Huey and her cousins while your brothers were having to sit like statues in front of the preacher under your parents’ watchful eyes.

I know tobacco is bad for you… and generations have gone down in smoke because of their addictions to it but really, could a weekly holy smoke be that bad if the memories it brings are so sweet?  I say, “Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em!”

Cell phones and bathrooms don’t mix

I walk into the men’s room last night at Wal-Mart when a guy walks in with his bluetooth on and he enters the stall.  You can’t help but overhear his side of the conversation which I’m not sure anyone wants to hear, especially while taking care of your own business.

“Do it like I showed you.”  Uh, hey, there are two of us in here and you’re breaking the cardinal rule of men’s bathrooms; absolutely no talking.

“No, no, no.  I’ll just do it myself.”  Sheesh, call them back.

“You just aren’t being tough enough.  You have to be in control if you want results.”  Okay… time for me to leave.

I’m not sure what the conversation was about but my goodness, call them back after you have taken care of your business.  You’re freaking the rest of us out!