- You find yourself begging strangers on the street to shoot you so you won’t have to live with the splitting headache one minute longer.
- You have seen more contents from the inside of your stomach than you’ve seen during the past decade.
- Your eyes feel like you have them mounted on sandpaper.
- Can you say, “I ache all over?”
- Your significant other walks in with a bottle of champaign on ice and dressed up to take you out for the night of your life and all you care about is the ice in the bucket.
- You contemplate ripping the tongues out of all the children in your house so you can have absolute peace and quiet.
- For lunch you fried an egg on your forehead.
- You discover your bed sheets come in two options: soaked in sweat or almost soaked in sweat.
- You curse the day you were born in ways that would make Job blush.
- You find yourself looking at your toes to see if yes, you have in fact tossed up your toenails during your last vomiting campaign.
- You wake up staring at an old South Park episode and wonder aloud why Kenny is the lucky one and gets to die.
- Kids keep walking by and poke you with sticks to see if you’re dead yet.
- You have started addressing your toilet as “Honey or Darling.” “Hey there darling, your ever loving fluid emitter is back…”
Hope everyone is staying well and flu free! Drink those fluids!
