I went to my 90 year old great aunt’s birthday party yesterday to see one of the neatest women I have ever had the privilege of knowing. She is one of those folks who has overcome so many adversities and never failed to keep on smiling when I have to think most of us would be contemplating a swan dive off of a bridge somewhere.
She married an abusive alcoholic who blessed her five children. Her youngest son was hit by a car which mangled his leg which stunted the growth in that leg, making it shorter than the other. Her husband died young of a heart attack leaving her to raise the kids by herself so she worked in the local school cafeteria to keep her children fed and clothed in their small four room house in Cross Plains.
When her youngest son was 21, he was killed in a horrific oilfield accident falling from a drilling rig. She tried to raise her grandson since her daughter-in-law was much more concerned with partying than raising a child, but soon lost him when the girl took off to Missouri. Mary kept working, sending whatever free money she had to them to try to keep the child in food and clothes.
Her other children turned out to be hard working successful folks. They were at the party yesterday to celebrate their mom and when you talked with them it was obvious how much they loved her.
As I was making my way around the room, a voice called out to me and I turned to see the receptionist from the local school. We chatted for awhile and discussed how much they missed Mary down at the school now that she was “retired” again. We chatted about how this marvelous woman had gone back to work at 79 years old to be a Foster Grandparent reading to ESL kids or working with kids who were struggling with their reading. She kept at it for eight years and only quit because of her failing health due to diabetes. I brought up the fact that anyone I meet from Cross Plains I will ask if they know Mary Bates. They always smile and say, “Miss Mary? Who doesn’t know Miss Mary? She always…” and off they go into a fond sentiment about Mary. Looking around the room, you could tell how much the community loves her.
So my conversation with aunt Mary was brief. I told her happy birthday and she reminded me with a sparkle in her eye that it really wasn’t her birthday until the 12th but wasn’t it nice for them to hold it on a Saturday so folks could come.
I asked her what she was going to do during her 91st year and suggested it was never to late to try sky diving in which she replied she had always wanted to try snow skiing.
I asked her if she was happy to be back in Cross Plains and she replied she loved her home in Brownwood but she missed having the kids and her friends from the neighborhood and school to talk to. Oh, they take great care of her in Brownwood but it wasn’t the same as going to work with the kids.
The cake is beautiful, I said, and she smiled and said it was even more beautiful since they were allowing her to have a piece of it in spite of her diabetes.
I stood up from kneeling by her wheelchair as another person came up to wish her well and as I moved away I was informed by her daughter-in-law that they had found gangrene in her foot that morning due to the lack of blood flow. They didn’t want to not take her to her party but afterwards she would be heading straight to have the problem worked on.
Another challenge facing this wonderful matriarch and there she sat, smiling, chuckling, enjoying life.
May we all reach 90 with such a love of this journey we call life.
